Monday, March 31, 2014

March Madness at Our House

What? You thought this post was going to be about basketball? No, my bracket went BOOM approximately the moment that Duke set foot on the court. Anyway, this is good stuff, much more entertaining than college basketball! Read on for moments of March Madness at our house.

L: "Miserable looks like this." {puts fingers in corners of mouth and pulls it down into a frown}"Happy looks like this." {pulls mouth into a smile}
This one makes me put my fingers in the corners of my mouth and pull them up.

Brett and I were discussing Logan's sickness and he said, "It's really taking it out of him."
M: "Do you think he has the sleepy flu?"
This could be a real thing. You never know, right?

M {asking for a treat}: "Can I have Star Wars?"
Me: "Huh? Do you mean Starburst?"
M: "Yeah, is that what they're called?"
Whatever works, I suppose.

M: "Do we have any leprechaun music?"
Um, no. However, in retrospect, perhaps this was my clue that I needed to make the leprechauns come...

L: "Are you ready to go on a jewelry hunt?"
What's a "jewelry hunt," you ask? Well, this is what happens when you leave bobby pins and other hair things within reach of a four year old boy. He had "hidden" them all over the living room for me to find.

M: "I taught Ritzy how to beg! She sat up!"
Me: "On her own?"
M: "Yes! Actually, I had to lift her... but eventually she started to balance."
Well, okay then.

L: "Did you never see someone lose his eyeball?"
Me: "No, I never saw that before."
L: "Well, I think I did. In a song." {launches into his rendition of "Oh the Little Monster Loses His Eyeball" -- a song known only to him, it would seem}
Gotta love his imagination.

Me {at the stove top, turning around}: "Guess who's not in a good mood?"
M: "I don't like this game." {walks away}
Snarky crisis averted. Take that, college prof who told us that kids didn't "get" sarcasm. She knew enough to get away, and that's all she needed to know!

L: "Baths have liquids in them."
True story.

Me: "Oh, Logan!" {as I see him Hoovering up Goldfish cracker crumbs from the table -- with his mouth}
L: "What?! I'm a cleaning machine."
Just think if his cleaning-machine mode worked half as often as his mess-making mode...

L: "I want handburgers for dinner!"
Sorry, little dude! I'm fresh out of ground handburger, but I may have some foot-long hot dogs in the freezer.

L: "I have oysters on my bottom... because it hurts!"
I have NO idea, but this is pretty dang funny.

M: "Guess what my favorite part of this masterpiece is?"
Me: "What?"
M: "Everything. Because it's so magnificent!"
She gets her humility from me, obviously.

M: "Mom, can you get down my big, floofy, pink skirt?"
Me: "Um... You mean your tutu?"
Yeah, 3 1/2 years of dance classes are paying off. At least Mommy knows some of the vocabulary now.

L: "Do they call them 'scissors' because they go, 'sizz, sizz, sizz' when you use them?"
Well, if that's NOT the reason, then it should be.

M: "Lasagna is sort of like a cheese and sauce meat sandwich."
I never really thought about it... but yeah, I guess so.

L: "I like chips and Hot Wheels more than anything else in the whole world."
Good talk, buddy.

L {playing Hungry Hungry Hippos}: "Do hippos eat snowballs?"
Me: "No."
L: "These ones do."
I had been about to tell him that hippos actually eat plants, but then I figured, "Why?" He was so sure.

L {at dinner}: "When I'm bigger, can I marry Mia or Mama?"
Me: "No." He looked sad, so I added, "Don't worry, when you're bigger, you'll meet somebody who's even better for marrying."
M: "Don't you have to go to college before you can get married?"
Me: "Sure. That sounds like a good idea."
Yes, let's go with that.

L: "I'm a forgetter and my sister's a mistaker."
Don't let her hear you say that!

L {after his big potty accident}: "You'll have to give the floor a bath."
Ah, yes, floor bathing -- one of this mommy's many special skills.

L: "Can we go shopping?"
Me: "What do we need to shop for?"
L: "Hot Wheels!"
Duh, Mom!

Me: "What should we get Zoey (a friend) for her birthday?"
L: "I don't know."
Me: "What does she like?"
L: "Well... She does like me!"
Great. We'll just put a bow on you then! 

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