Saturday, May 31, 2014

May at Our House

May 1, 2014
M {both kids have doll dresses on their heads}: "We're wearing Mexican hats!"
Well, sure, if you say so, kids.

May 1, 2014
L: "I found Boo Boo Bunny -- and I got hurt!"
Oh, the irony.

May 2, 2014
M: "When birds pull worms out of the ground, they're playing tug-of-war!"
Yep, it's just like that except that it's a war game in which someone ends up dead.

May 2, 2014
M: "You're quite the baker! You should open up a bakery. You could build in on that open grassy patch."
Me: "What grassy patch?"
M: "You know. In town. Across from the gas station."
Now why didn't I think of that?"

May 3, 2014
M {sighing as she sits on Sandy, the penny pony at Meijer}: "I think I'm getting too big for this."
NOOOOOOO! I refuse to let that happen.

May 5, 2014
L {overheard while on the play phone, talking to Daddy}: "Fish latte."
Really hoping he does NOT wind up as a barista. Just sayin'.

May 5, 2014
L {bends his arm}: "These bones can bend. I think they're elastic!"

May 5, 2014 
L: "Daddy, are you reading with your eyes?"
Brett: "Yes, I'm reading with my eyes."
M: "Reading with your eyes is eyes is so that little kids don't read stuff they're not supposed to know about. I read my whole entire library book on the bus!"
They've broken our secret code. Now what?

May 6, 2014
L {describing "outside day" at preschool -- the trike course}: "They gave out pink tickets."
Me: "What were the pink tickets for?"
L: "When people went too fast. I pretended it was a race course!"
Me: "Oh, so did you get lots of pink tickets."
L: "No. Nobody saw me!"
Ah, yes, how early they figure this one out.

May 7, 2014
L {on Brett's new car}: "Daddy says I can fit in his trunk!"
He said what now?

May 8, 2014
M {while we were driving on the freeway}: "I don't think we're allowed to go 160."
Brett: "I don't think the van will even go 160."
M: "Then why do the numbers go that high?!"

May 9, 2014
L {while watching 101 Dalmatians}: "They think they're Labra-dogs."
He's cute, right? It's not just me.

May 9, 2014
M: "I think that plane is going to crash into the moon."
I wouldn't worry too much about that, dear.

May 9, 2014
M {in the bathroom at Wendy's}: "I love that Grandma is named after a restaurant!"
Well, they do both have red hair...

May 9, 2014
M {8:30 p.m., on the way to Grandma and Grandpa's house}: "Something tells me it's past bedtime."
Me: "Yes, what is that?"
M: "The clock! And the angle of the sun."
Okay, Miss Smartypants...

May 12, 2014
Me: "Why are you going in circles?" {around the dining room table}
L: "I just want to. Actually, I'm going in ovals."
And Mr. Smartypants!

May 14, 2014
Me: "Did you just lick me?! Why are you licking everything?" {as he licks the counter}
L: "Because I want a sucker."
Right. And licking the inside of my wrist will make that happen how exactly?

May 19, 2014
L {brings me a twig}: "Mom, is this a pretzel plant?"
Nope. But wouldn't that be kind of cool?

May 20, 2014
L: "I wish we had a pet butterfly instead of a dog."
There would be less dog doo on my porch...

May 20, 2014
M: "I don't like that my skin is covered with hair."
Sorry. Can't help you there.

May 24, 2014
L {watching lacrosse on TV}: "Are they trying to catch a banana peel?"
This is just plain funny.

May 25, 2014
L {after I returned from the store with goodies for Memorial Day}: "You brought home root beard!"
Yes. For root beard floats. They're delicious.

May 26, 2014
L: "Some of the Unifix cubes have fallen into my milk."
Probably the best part is that he said this so matter-of-factly, like a little man.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Ever Have One of Those Weeks?

Have you ever had one of those weeks? Maybe a little like this?

Monday: You need to go pick your child up at school during a tornado warning. Actually, it's the extended warning. You were going to let her wait it out because her little brother was scared, but once the extension was added you decided to go get her (the tornado was nowhere nearby) since they would not even be putting her on the bus until 5 pm and then she would have another 40 minutes or so before getting home. It is a torrential downpour and you are all soaked to the skin and stripping the moment you set foot in the house. (Hooray, more laundry! Not.)

Oh, yes, did I mention that it's your birthday? There's no dessert because you didn't make any. You ask your husband to clean up since you made dinner. He puts the left over food away but leaves the dirty dishes in the sink (which was really what you meant for him to do but weren't smart enough to specify in your request). You realize you need to be more precise next time.

Tuesday: Your kid swipes 3 Hot Wheels cars while you are shopping at Kroger -- and you don't realize it until it's time to check out. By then, of course, he has torn open the packages. So you buy them, force him to pay you back, and charge an extra dollar for emotional duress.

In grocery shopping-related news, you are annoyed that today was the last day that your Kroger will be doubling coupons. Boo!

You go home, put the groceries away, transfer laundry from washer to dryer, change your clothes (can't wear the grocery shopping ensemble for yardwork!), and ask your four-year-old to help you apply sunscreen to your back (because it's over 80 degrees already and you are now wearing a tank top). Then you pop in a Disney film and manage to get the lawnmower out of the shed, mow the entire lawn (just a hair shy of an acre), and then put the lawnmower back -- entirely on your own! (Take that, husband who said he didn't think you could do it.) You later realize you have probably been duped. He knows you hate being told what you can't do!

You go to bed kind of miffed because hubby has asked you to stop and buy ice cream after your evening meeting at church. You are kind of tired but oblige because he has a sore throat. (You're cool like that even though he didn't buy you ice cream on your birthday.)

Wednesday: The same child has a tantrum the following morning at Walmart because you won't buy him -- wait for it -- another Hot Wheels car. So he runs off screaming like a banshee and you chase after him through approximately 15 aisles of the store before he slows down and you can finally grab him by the collar of his shirt. And then you wonder if wearing the skinny jeans and cute ballet flats was really the best choice for shopping with a four-year-old boy, which is starting to seem like more of a competitive sport each day.

Later, you step into the garage as you are headed out side to play "hardball baseball" with your boy. (Clearly, he has energy to burn off.) The moment you set foot out the door, you slip backward, nearly falling. (Thankfully, you do not get hurt. The floor of the garage is concrete, after all!) On closer inspection, you realize that you have stepped in a pile of dog poo. IN the garage. And by the way, you were still wearing the cute ballet flats, which aside from not offering much in the way of traction, are now coated in a layer of smeared dog poo. You are wondering why you have a dog...

To top off the day, it is your night to work the dinner at church. After 2.5 hours of running like a made woman (there were not enough hands!), scarfing your own dinner, and eventually stealing a potty break, it is over. You go to retrieve your little dude from the nursery (where they eventually had someone to help out, which is good, 'cause he started out in the kitchen with you, which for obvious reasons was not good). At this point, he smiles at you angelically and asks, "Mommy, is there any food left?" Um, yeah, you just spent several minutes packing it all up. Also, you have officially lost "Mom of the Year" status. That is reserved for people who remember to feed their children.

In other news, this is the second day this week that you have had to wash the cover from one of the couch cushions -- because a certain child has peed on it. (Hooray, more laundry! Not.) You are convinced that if you could just get all of the people and animals in your household to do their business in the correct location, your life would suddenly seem so much easier.

Thursday: As soon as you get out of the shower, you discover that your son has wet the bed. Only he wasn't in his own bed -- he was in your bed. You don't have a plastic sheet on this bed, obviously, so that means that when you strip the bedding you find a puddle of urine on your mattress. You head down to the laundry room to start a wash load, nearly tripping over a pile of in front of the laundry room door. It turns out that your other child has also wet the bed. (Hooray, more laundry! Not.) Next, you sprinkle baking soda all over your mattress and cross your fingers that it will sop up the liquid and get rid of any odor. You remind yourself that it could be worse -- at least one child wet her own bed and not yours!

After you are in bed (which now has fresh sheets, at least), your husband informs you that he read online that your daughter's school is doing away with Spanish and art. He tries to make you feel better, saying, "She still has you for art." Obviously, this is not the same. She loves those special classes. You have trouble getting to sleep because you are upset -- not just for the kids to miss out on these classes, but also for the teachers who may be losing their jobs.

Friday: Your son just pooped his pants for the fourth time this week. (Hooray, more laundry! Not.) You wonder how much diarrhea is considered "normal" and debate whether or not to call the pediatrician's office. (It's always tricky to find the right balance between being that mom -- the one who calls too often for every little thing --and that mom -- the one who never takes things seriously enough.)

Well, you make a decision and call the doc's office. He isn't having diarrhea, the nurse tells you. He's constipated. Well, okay, that makes sense. Not really, but kinda sorta. Anyway, you hang up and are immediately informed by your son that he has pooped his pants. Again. So make that five times this week. (Hooray, more laundry! Not.)

A letter comes home in your daughter's Friday folder confirming that there will be no Spanish or art classes next year. They are, however, offering some sort of before or after school art club. You still don't see how that makes up for cutting the programs!

Later, your son tells you that he has forgotten to lift the toilet lid, and so he has peed all over the bathroom floor. Actually, compared to the other potty accidents you have dealt with this week, you really don't care. At least he was in the bathroom attempting to do what he was supposed to do.

At bedtime, you are faced with two tired and cranky children. It turned out that it was a bad idea to go out to dinner to belatedly celebrate your birthday. Also, that big chocolate chip cookie for dessert was a huge mistake. Don't they know that you're supposed to bake them all the way through? Ugh. Everyone had a tummy ache. Your husband informs you that you didn't need to eat your whole piece. Right. Like you considered not eating the chocolate to be an option.

Feeling worn out, you turn to your faithful blog for a nice venting session. (Here you feel the need to add a final note that this was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. You lead a very blessed life, and happen to think that you are funny, even if nobody else may agree. And, your husband is pretty great most of the time. You don't want people to think that you have no faith in him, but like every normal person you occasionally feel peeved at him -- this week more than normal!) That said, you pray that the weekend of double birthday parties goes much more smoothly than the rest of the week!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Homemade Powder Foundation

Coming up with a homemade powder foundation has been a bit trickier than some of the other homemade makeups that I have tried so far. I found a few suggestions on how to get started (here and here). There was a third idea that I wondered about but it called for a type of clay, which isn't something I had at hand... so I experimented with stuff from my kitchen. (I always suggest using what you have, right?)

I have to say that while food-grade items are safer than a lot of chemicals in store-bought makeup, applying them to one's face requires caution! Obviously, don't use anything you know you are allergic to or don't tolerate well. (One of the above bloggers suggested nutmeg as a potential face powder ingredient, but after having it cause instant itchiness when making eye shadow, I decided against trying that one again.)

The next thing that is difficult about making your own powder foundation is getting the right color. It's not like making blush when one easy to create color will suit most any skin tone. My first attempt was something I came up with all on my own: arrowroot and turmeric (which I was surprised to find in an organic line at Walmart, oddly enough). I had seen this as an ingredient when researching how to make eye shadow, and I thought that if mixed with arrowroot, it would make a nice pale peach powder. Since I am extremely fair-skinned, I thought this would be more subtle than, say, cocoa powder. When mixed up and applied to the inside of my wrist it was a near-perfect match to my skin tone. Now for the real test.

It looked good on my face at first but then the powders seemed to separate and I was embarrassed to catch my reflection one day (after wearing this in public for a few days in a row! Why couldn't I have noticed that sooner?!). Unless the Oompa Loompa look is in this season I had really missed the boat! Needless to say, there is a reason none of the other bloggers out there are recommending the use of turmeric in a homemade foundation.

{Homemade Powder Foundation Experiments}

Fortunately, my second attempt was much better. Cinnamon and cocoa powder were suggested by both of the blog posts I had read, so it made since to try them out. I was a bit nervous about using cinnamon on my skin, fearing an itchy reaction, but luckily that did not happen. This powder looks a lot darker and I was worried that it would look like I was trying to fake a tan, but it actually went on quite natural. It wore well, keeping shine at bay. (I am thinking the arrowroot powder is to thank for that.) It's not as great at concealing blemishes as my store-bought stuff, but overall, this worked for a powder foundation. The best part was that it smelled incredibly delicious and I half expected people to ask me where I bought my Christmas cookie perfume. (I used 1 teaspoon arrowroot powder + 1/8 teaspoon cocoa powder + 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon. Proportions can be adjusted as needed, and I suggest starting with small amounts and adding more as desired.)

Even thought that second formulation worked well, I wanted to try yet another concoction. This time, I added ginger to see if the yellow tint would tone down the overly dark cocoa powder to create a more suitable shade of powder foundation. Again, I was slightly apprehensive about whether or not there would be an itch factor, and I was relived that this was not an issue. My main complaint about the ginger, though, is that it tends to tickle my nose when inhaled, making me sneeze. (Kind of like my second blush experiment -- I ultimately nixed that version, in part because of this.) This third mixture is what I have been wearing most recently, but I am thinking that I will go back to the cocoa powder and cinnamon mixture. I am not sure that the ginger is really working for me, but I will say that this works well as a translucent powder, similar to the second variation. (I used 1 teaspoon arrowroot powder, 1/2 teaspoon ginger, and 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon. Proportions can be adjusted as needed, and I suggest starting with small amounts and adding more as desired.)

In case you're wondering, I have been wearing food on my face for the past two and half weeks and nobody has noticed -- or if they have, they have been kind enough not to mention it. (I'm especially thinking of when I realized my face was splotchy orange while out to brunch with a bunch of people from church!) I'm not sure that I have found the perfect recipe yet, but I do seem to be on the right track. If you want to save some money and know exactly what is contained in your foundation, it is possible to make your own at home. Finding the perfect match for your skin tone and type, well, that's a whole other issue!

{Modeling my 3rd Foundation Attempt}

What do you think? This was a picture that I took of myself yesterday, which just happened to be my birthday. Brett informed everyone at church that I was turning "29 again." Here I am wearing a full face of homemade makeup: cocoa powder eye shadow, activated charcoal eye liner, beet root blushbeet root lip gloss, and my latest attempt at homemade mascara (more on that soon). Maybe I am delusional, but I really do think that I could pass for 29!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

The Graduate

My little dude had his first preschool graduation today! Yep, first. We'll do it again next year, and that will probably lead to some tears on my part...

I've never seen him force a smile like this before, but it's sort of cute that he wanted to make me happy -- because I do love me some photos. I have watched the video umpteen times already, working diligently to transcribe the teacher's description of my little man. (For some reason, the ability to take decent videos eludes me even while I am getting quite decent at taking still photographs.) 

It's amazing how anybody was able to describe him in such a condensed way, and yet I felt myself nodding along. Yes, that's my boy!
"Being a typical boy, he loves to jump and run. He was always the first to volunteer to go ride bikes in the large muscle room. It was also not unusual to find him with the other boys on the carpet playing with small manipulatives and building a fort. Another favorite area was the dramatic play, where he would pretend to make phone calls to his mom and sister. Logan is especially good at observing and analyzing an activity. When he comes to a table, he rarely needs directions since he can figure things out by himself. We are thrilled to have him back in the fall!"

Monday, May 5, 2014

Homemade Eyeliner (So Easy!)

Okay, this is seriously the easiest homemade makeup you will ever see directions for. One all-natural ingredient and just two simple steps. I don't see a reason why anybody could not make this themselves at home! Save yourself some money and know exactly what is in your eyeliner -- win-win. (I found the idea for making my own eyeliner here.)

First, go get yourself a bottle of activated charcoal capsules. You can find them at vitamin stores, health food stores (where I found mine), or online. These are NOT the same as charcoal from your grill. Activated charcoal is meant to be taken internally for gastrointestinal issues (food poisoning, for example) so it's considered completely safe for cosmetic purposes.

My bottle contained 90 gelatin capsules and it cost $10.59. This won't expire until September of 2017, so I am set for eye makeup for 3+ years. (I'm currently working on a homemade mascara, which also calls for activated charcoal. I am wearing it in the picture below, but for today, I just want you to focus on the eyeliner.) Considering how much I was spending before to get bareMinerals makeup -- which still contained things I could not pronounce (even though it was decidedly safer than the cheap drugstore makeup I had previously purchased) -- this is a steal!

{Wet Application, Dry Application}

How to Make Your Own Eyeliner (So Easy!):
  1. Grab a small container with a lid. (Mine is plastic and came in a 10-pack at Dollar Tree. A small glass jar would be ideal, but I didn't have one on hand.) Open an activated charcoal capsule and dump the contents into the container. (Your hands will get a little messy, but it washes away easily.)
  2. Apply your eyeliner with a small brush. (I suggest getting an eyeliner brush for this. Mine is from Ulta.) For a simple day-time look, I just dip my brush into the charcoal and apply it dry. For a more dramatic night-time look (or if you just like a more intense eyeliner for day-time), first wet your brush slightly, then dip it into the charcoal and line your eyes. Use small motions and add more as needed for best results. This stays put well and washes away easily at the end of the day (I use the oil cleanse method for face washing and eye makeup removal.)

{I capsule = about 1/4 teaspoon}

A Few Notes:
  • Please note that my eyeliner is is not "perfect." It does leave a small amount of dust beneath my eyes by the end of the day. However, to be fair, the way more expensive eye makeup that I was purchasing did the same thing!
  • To me, this is still tops because it is safe, easy to apply, and very affordable!
  • In my self-portrait, I model both application methods. On the left, is the more dramatic wet-application, and on the right is the softer dry application. I have not tried it, but I think you could use the dry application over your entire lid for a very-wearable neutral gray eye shadow.
  • Also, in the photo, I am modeling my homemade beet root eye shadow, which I love!
  • I should probably mention that I lined my top lids only, which is my personal preference. That's the way I have done it for years. You can line both the top and bottom if you like that look better.
  • I "made" this eyeliner 3 weeks ago, and I'm estimating that the one capsule will last me about another 3 weeks with almost daily usage. This is perfect, I think. Not so long that I have to worry about bacteria growth, but still not so short that I am forever having to "make" more eyeliner.

Some More of My Favorite Homemade Makeup Recipes:
Mascara and face powder recipes are in the works, so I'll let you know when they are share-worthy!