Hair Help! (Because Sometimes Mommy Isn't Good at These Things...)

Recently, I blew Mia's mind by informing her that sometimes I don't always know how to do things and I need to learn how to do them. If I remember correctly, this was when we were trying out a new jam recipe after picking the mother load of strawberries. Anyway, she was clearly shocked, exclaiming, "But you're an adult!" Apparently, that means I know everything! Or, so she thought. I had her fooled up until this point...

Now, one of the biggest things that I have always struggled with as the mom of a little girl is hair styling. It's not something I have ever spent too much time on for myself. Long ago, I gave up on trying to make my curls straight. Despite trying to be low-maintenance, I do stress over hair a bit. (See more about the story of my "bad haircut" here, and Mia's first dance recital here, and Logan's curly hair, and how I gave up shampoo, and the time that Mia cut her own hair!) This is an area in which I definitely have room for improvement. (Mommy really can't do everything.)

Fortunately, Mia is at an age when she can do most of her own hair, with minor touch-ups on my end. However, dance recital is one of those times when kid-styled locks are just not going to cut it. This is something I literally dreaded: having to put her hair into a bun and get it to stay that way until she was done performing her tap routine to "Why Should I Worry?" from the movie Oliver & Company. (Remember that one? There was actually an 80's theme to the whole recital.) So cute, but I need to get back on topic...

I've already mentioned one life-improving hair product that I've found for moms of girls: the Knot Genie. This made getting her hair into a neat pony tail much quicker and easier than if I were doing this on my own! Then, I heard about a really wonderful thing from Mia's little friend's mom. (Also, I'm glad I asked. I was under the impression that this mom was a hair pro, and it turned out that she just had a handy trick up her sleeve. It's all a matter of perspective, I guess.) This handy-dandy bun maker thingy is called "The Perfect Bun," and it's made by Remington. I found it in the hair accessory aisle of our local Wal-mart for about $5. Let me tell you, this is money well spent. I'm not saying her bun was "perfect." It still looked amateurish compared to some of the other girls' hair, but for me, this was the best darn bun I have ever made. And yes, it still took me some time, mostly because I was being perfectionistic, as usual, (and again, hair is not my area of expertise, not by a loooong stretch!) but the results were totally worth it.

{Mia's "Perfect" Bun}

The recital was last night, and we, thankfully, made it without any hair-raising drama. The thing that had me the most worked up was getting her hair into that "perfect" bun, and now that I know the secret to this, this will only get easier. (It was funny that once we sat down, Brett asked me if I was stressed out, and I thought What am I supposed to be stressing about?! I already did my major stressing over the hair! Once I dropped her off backstage, it was all in her hands (or tap shoes, I guess). On that note, I must end by saying how proud I am of my little dancing girl. This was the best I had ever seen her perform, and she definitely worked hard. She's really come a long way in the three years since she starting taking dance classes, developing confidence along with the dance steps! And, Mommy is learning a thing or two along the way, as well.

{Take a bow!}

Emotional Purging

Sometimes it's the seemingly little things that are really the biggest things. Tonight, for example, I packed what will be Mia's last school lunch as a kindergartener. That could make me sad, but recently, I had some much-needed emotional purging (although I didn't know I was due for it at the time.)

It started out with a simple trip to the salon. I hadn't been there in, oh, about 6 months, because I was really happy with the way my hair looked. (I will swear to the ends of the earth that giving up shampoo was the single best thing I have done for my hair, and consequently for my self-esteem -- because regardless whether or not a woman is high maintenance, her hair is a huge part of how she expresses herself to the world.) I was growing it out because I thought it made me look pretty, and it made me feel younger, and I figured that if I ever got sick of it being longer than it's been in quite some time, I would just cut it and donate it...

So, why did I make that appointment for a "trim?" Well, I am insanely excited about an upcoming vacation without children!!!  (To a tropical island! Eeeeee!) I have so, so, so much to do to get ready, and I decided that I could hear my stylist in my head saying that my "ends are looking a bit skinny." Really, that's what she has told me in the past. Anyway, I figured it was best to get it shaped up before the trip, and I thought I could tick that off my to-do list quite easily.

I called the salon and scheduled a trim, and thought I was so lucky to be able to get in with my stylist (who's done my hair for almost 8 years now) the very next day. Sounds straight-forward enough. I showed up, laughed about how I heard her voice in my head worrying over my "skinny ends," and made a point of saying that I was really happy with my hair and just needed it to be cleaned up a bit. Then, I proceeded to yammer on while she did her thing. Topics of conversation included my upcoming vacation, obviously, but also some other beauty-related items of current interest to me: homemade shaving cream, homemade facial cleanser, and my general disgust with parabens. (Perhaps I need to get out more. These are kind of sad topics for general conversation, but they're pretty important to me!)

The next thing I knew, she was handing me the mirror to view the finished haircut. This was when I realized that she had taken off much more than I was anticipating, at least two or maybe three inches! (Truthfully, it's hard to gauge length since my hair is naturally curly, plus, she always manages to make it much fuller than I ever could.) Since I was somewhat it shock (How did I not realize what was happening?!) I just thanked her, paid the bill, and gave her a ten percent tip, as I normally would. Then, I went home and studiously avoided looking at myself in the mirror by taking the kids outside to play, doing yard work, and basically, pretending that I had not just lost all the hair I had been growing out for over 6 months, the hair that made me feel more attractive than I had in ages, the hair I was planning to donate... I was totally in denial.

This experience has taught me that it's actually possible to go through all five stages of grief in one day. Once I finally came back indoors, several hours later, to use the bathroom, I saw my reflection. Then, it really hit me that my hair was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. This led to some majorly-blown-out-of-proportion depression, complete with out-and-out sobbing, the kind that made me gasp for air, the kind that made me have puffy, swollen eyelids, the kind that went on much longer than it should have because each time I began to calm down, I had another irrational thought that provoked more outbursts. Part of me was disappointed in myself for crying in front of the kids (or at least for not having a "good" reason for my grief). Another part of me felt selfish and guilty for mourning my hair in the first place, considering how many people I know who have cancer and would probably love the opportunity to cry over a "bad" haircut because it would mean that they have enough hair to go to the salon and get it cut in the first place! But still, I couldn't stop crying for a good twenty minutes. Depression.

Then, I went through what must be considered the bargaining phase, essentially trying to rationalize things by constantly asking the "what if?" questions. Why didn't I pay attention to what she was doing? Why was I talking so much? I should have told her up front not to cut more than 1/4" off the length! Didn't she understand me when I said I was really happy with my hair, that I meant the length? What was I thinking making a hair appointment when I loved my hair the way it was? I should have never done that.... Now, how will I ever have enough to donate?

This led to anger. This can't be happening to me! What if my now-short-hair looks like a poof-ball on our tropical vacation? What if I can't get it up anymore? (And I just recently have been getting compliments on wearing my hair up, so I have started doing it more often.) I went upstairs, tossed my clothes aside while quickly undressing, let forth some under-my-breath screams (still not wanting to freak my kids out over this -- and Brett was wisely standing aside and letting me fight my demons), and then got into the shower. I let the hot water beat down on me for a while, soaking my odious, too short hair, and washing away most of my frustrations. Stepping out of the shower, I felt that I had purged most of the negative emotional energy, and surveying my wet locks, felt more like myself. Even if the mirror reflected my shorter hair, it at least looked a bit longer since it was wet.

After my shower, I felt enlightened. The tears were not for my hair, not really. That was just the trigger to my emotional purge, the last straw as it were. This "bad" haircut had been the conclusion to a very emotional week. I had learned that my dance teacher was injured and wouldn't be able to teach any classes until fall, so I am without an outlet for all of this stuff... Mia's first loose tooth was quite the milestone event, and then a couple days after that, we went to her "kindergarten graduation." It was so amazing to see how far she has come in the past few months! This is a lot for most people to take in, I can imagine. But for me, being so very sensitive, it makes absolute sense now that I was due for a good cry so that I could come to terms with all the big changes and then move forward. (This has historically been how I have coped with all the little mole hills building up until one seems like a giant mountain, threatening to engulf me.) As upsetting as it was, this was not about my hair. This was about my baby girl growing up. After a refreshing shower, I realized these things, and I while felt completely spent after crying, I was also relieved, physically and emotionally purged.

Did I finally achieve acceptance? Well, my hair looked more like "me" once it dried. Plus, it's bouncier and healthier looking. In truth, I didn't get a "bad" haircut after all. My stylist knows my hair better than I do, apparently. While it wasn't exactly what I was hoping for, I do look good with the shorter hair style. And the stuff that really triggered the tears? Well, I can deal with that, too, just one thing at a time.

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By the way, having stayed up past my bedtime tonight and blogging into tomorrow, I have now just reached my 3rd "blogiversary!" This means that it's been three years since I wrote this, (which was viewed by all of three people) and here I am still at it, wondering where to go from here... Thanks so much for stopping by and reading my thoughts! I love being able to share parts of my life in this way, and I hope that you, too, get something out of it. Sorry, no fabulous giveaways, or anything like that, but someday, perhaps, I will be able to do that sort of thing!

No More Tangles, No More Tears!

{My new favorite thing - not the girl - although, she's pretty special, too!}

While flipping through a parenting magazine (what else?) at the dentist's office last month, I came across a little blurb about something called the Knot Genie. It's a hair brush for kids that claimed to magically get rid of tangles without the crying, tugging, and power-struggles that often happen while trying to brush kids' hair. Naturally, I was interested in this, since Mia is very independent about her hair styling, but her practices are not quite living up to my personal expectations. When I told Mia about "the magic hairbrush," she became very excited. Yes, order it, order it, she told me!

So, I went to their website and saw that they offered the regular size Knot Genie, which fits in an adult's palm nicely, and a Teeny Genie, the kids-sized version. I decided that we needed both, but I didn't want to pay $20 each plus shipping and handling. Then, I turned to Amazon and was able to get both the Knot Genie and the Teeny Genie for less and with free shipping (because I had something else in my cart: this magnet set). Yay!

Once our Knot Genies arrived, Mia immediately began brushing her hair (on her own, without being asked/begged/bargained with... You get the idea.). That alone was wonderful. The fact that these hair brushes really do what they say is the icing on the cake. My child now brushes her hair independently. More importantly, she does a proper job of it, unlike before, which was really just saying she would do it herself to avoid having me do it since it would likely hurt! Oh, and she does this at minimum, once a day. Most days she brushes her hair in the morning and at night. Not only is it easier pain-free to use, it's quicker too! Mia's hair looks now looks smooth and shiny and it's free of snarls. She actually brushes her hair because it's fun and she wants to! We are both so relieved to be done with the hair-brush power struggles and the accompanying tears!

What's more, Mia even brushes volunteers to brush Logan's hair for him, which is something I typically avoid because of his curls. I can now say from experience that Knot Genie works just as well on his curly hair as it does on Mia's stick-straight hair. Knot Genie doesn't remove the curls, thankfully, but it does make him look more presentable. This is nice considering he is currently going through a "Flock of Seagulls" phase with his hair standing up in all directions rather than curling as I would like it to.

It's hard for me not to share when I discover great products that really do make parents lives easier! As silly as it may sound, our mornings are truly going more smoothly thanks to this product, a hair brush, of all things! Personally, I think it is getting more and more difficult to find truth in advertising, but Knot Genie really delivers. There is so much junk out there that it's easy to get sucked into the hype and waste money on stuff you don't really need. (This is particularly true of the parenting market, I think.) However, buying Knot Genie hair brushes was money well-spent. So, that's one parenting battle down, and soooo many to go...

Love Those Curls!

When I was pregnant with Mia, I imagined this curly haired little girl with Brett's eyes. I was right about the blue eyes, but it turns out that her hair is pin straight, not at all like mine. Then, while I was pregnant with Logan, I didn't know what to expect, although I thought he might get my eye color. Now, I am so happy to see a bit of myself in those unruly curls (and the hazel eyes, too).

When he first started getting "big boy" haircuts, I couldn't get used to seeing him with close-cropped hair, and when I realized that he was getting curls a few months back, I decided not to fight them. I am much happier with this curly tow headed look. He reminds me more of an angelic baby boy. After all, since he'll always be my baby, I want him to look that way for as long as possible.

Another advantage of the curls is that people rarely comment about the blond color anymore. This always bugged me. ("Where'd he get the blond hair from?" sounds kind of accusatory, don't you think?) Thankfully, people have started to give more and more compliments along the lines of "I love his hair!" or "His hair is so pretty!" I couldn't agree more.

 {His hair really is beautiful, and yes, it's okay to say that about a boy.}

{Love my sweet curly-haired boy!}

{Oh, yes, one more bonus of letting his hair grow: fun bathtub hairdos!}

Hair Repair (A Photo Story)

{Yesterday, someone was busted with the safety scissors!}

{When asked WHY she had cut her hair, she said, "I had an itch."}

{She's all smiles after this morning's hair repair. And secretly I am happy, too, because I prefer this length. It frames her cute little face so nicely, don't you think?}