Tuesday, December 31, 2013

"Santa Already Knows What I Want!" (and Other End of the Year Quotes)

Honestly, I crack up whenever I reread the things my kids have said. This month's collection of kids' quotes is pretty darn good, though. Lots of funny memories. And since you may be wondering why I am tapping away at my keyboard while others are out celebrating...

Yes, we're getting crazy up in here for New Year's Eve! We already polished off our bottle of sparkling juice and had a raucous family game night. (I have dubbed myself the Queen of Candy Land.) Kids are now in bed, and I doubt I will be awake long enough to ring in the new year. Good times, good times.

See you all in 2014! I hope it is as wonderful for everyone as 2013 has been for our family.

M {eating Swedish Fish, which she called "sweet fish"}: "I never knew fish could taste that good."

L: "Circle is not a shape. It goes all the way around. It's a letter, like 'o.'"

Is it just me, or does that almost make sense?

M: "I have something to tell you: Doritos taste good dipped in ranch dressing!"
Me: "How did you learn this?"
M: "Turkey taco day!" (party at school before Thanksgiving) "We had some and I tried it."

I was explaining to Mia how things weren't going how I wanted and I was feeling frustrated. She thought for a moment and then replied, "Go to bed early then!"

If only it were that simple... Unfortunately, the mama can't go to bed in the afternoon.

M: "Ouch!"
Me: "What happened?"
M: "The wood hit me on purpose." {scowls and then informs me that she ran into the banister}
Me: "Do you want the boo boo bunny?"
M: "NO!" {scowls} "And I do not like wood."

Truly, it was all I could do to not laugh. She was so serious and so, so mad at that banister.

M: "Our elf is really talented this year!" {Said after seeing the string of gumdrops on the Christmas tree.}

M: "Me and Ritzy just did an Eskimo kiss and one thing -- her nose is very wet!"

I would imagine so, yes.

L {in the church bathroom -- and, of course, we were not alone}: "My penis is getting bigger!"

Really, child, you couldn't save this statement for a more private place? 

L: "Girls only have eyebrows... and cars have eyebrows, too."

I have no idea...

L: "Why are big people -- like Mommy or Daddy -- called giants or robots?"
Me: "I didn't know we were."

I repeat, no idea...

During Logan's preschool Christmas party a high school student sat in Santa's lap to try to convince one of the preschoolers that he was okay. She asked for a brand new car and Logan chimed in with, "I don't think Santa has car parts!"

This sounds plausible to me.

Also during the preschool party, Logan surprised me tremendously by hopping up in Santa's lap and talking to him, asking for a bunch of Hot Wheels stuff (none of which I could really understand, other than the words "Hot Wheels" and "crash!") Naturally, I asked him what he had discussed with Santa and he replied, "I don't feel like telling you. Santa already knows what I want!"

Well, I'm glad you're so tight with the fat man, but toss me a bone, here!

M: "Guess what, Mom? Dad was number one for a level in Candy Crush!"
Me: "Okay. Why are you telling me this?"
M: "I just want you to know everything that Dad does."
Brett: "Well, that's not much..."

Hey, he said it! I'm just repeating it.

Me {Catching Mia performing what I assume is a dance move on a chair at the dining table}: "Let's not do arabesques on the chair." (Note: I am proud of myself for learning some of the lingo.)
M: "I'm not. I'm just stretching."

Technicality, apparently. Future lawyer, this one. For the record, it sure looked like an arabesque to me. Also, we can add this to the list of things I never thought I'd say.

M {While singing "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"}: "Has Daddy been in history before?"

Not that I am aware of, but time will tell... Perhaps, he will set some sort of world record in Candy Crush.

Mia asked if I had made the paper slips for the Advent calendar and I told her that I did.
Brett: "How come you don't think I made them?"
M: "Because Mama is more creative and into crafts."
Me: "So what is Daddy good at?"
L: "Being mad!"
M: "Playing games and throwing a ball at a woodpecker on the roof."

L {Trooping into our bedroom at 7 am}: "Guys, it's morning and we're going to my cousins' house today! And guess what else?! We're also going to my sister's cousins' house!"

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