Thursday, October 31, 2013

Things My Kids Say

Logan: "I can only do so many things at once." (Yes, he threw that mommyism right back at meProof that he does listen to me.)

At the grocery store:
Logan: "Here's your ticket binder."
Me: "I call it my coupon binder."
Logan: "It's your ticket binder."
Me: "Well, I guess you could call it that. It's my ticket to savings."

Logan (helping me with the fall decorations -- finds a cornucopia and puts it on his head): "Look! I found a witch hat!"

Logan (calling to us from the bathroom): "Guys, I've got a surprise for you!" (Please let it be that you made it in the toilet.)

In a hurry to get outdoors, he got frustrated.
Logan: "I don't know which feet they go on."
Me: "It doesn't matter. They're socks."

I let Mia know that there were box tops in her backpack to give to her teacher.
Mia: "How many were there?"
Me: "185."
Mia: "Wow. You can sure count high!" 
(Amazing my 6-year-old -- just one of the many services I provide on a daily basis.)

Me: "Hey, there's a lump on the sofa. it looks comfy. I think I'll sit on it."
And then Logan pops up.
Me: "Hey, I know you. You're the 'Matchbox Car Smuggler.' You caused a ruckus at soccer practice."
Logan: "Just doing my job." (Indeed.)
(True story! He had a TOTAL meltdown during soccer practice that evening because he had smuggled a red Hot Wheels car inside his shin guard, and it had gotten lost on the field. Luckily, Daddy saved the day by systematically scouring the field until it turned up.)

Logan: "Mommy, I don't have enough Hot Wheels for my bath." (Riiiiiiiiiiight.)

After finding a wet spot on the carpet:
Me: "Did you urinate on the floor?"
Logan: "No, I peed in this bag {holds up plastic bag from dentist's office}... but I missed!"
(And why was he was surprised that I wanted to throw the bag away? After emptying it, of course, because his aim wasn't completely off target.)

Mia: "You can find a lot of coins on the ground, but you can't find a lot of dollars." (Yes. Random, but true.)

Mia: "I hope your arms don't get longer."
Me: "Why would my arms get longer?"
Mia: "I don't know, but I hope that they don't get too long because then you would have to bend them funny to drive the car."
(I guess if this is all she is worried about when I am driving, then we are in pretty good shape.)

I put the vacuum in the living room and then started moving chairs out of the dining room (because unfortunately, our dining room is carpeted. I hate this but it came with the house, and it is some day going to be replaced, hopefully with hard wood floors, at least that is my dream). As I am moving chairs, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Logan has moved the vacuum cleaner.
Logan: "Look, Mommy, your vacuum can move all on its own." {grins} "I don't know how it did that!"

Mia (at the dinner table): "I'm drawing a 'W' on my bottom with my finger." (Don't ask me. I literally have no clue.)

Mia thought that Daddy was being unfair to Logan because he was sick and was not allowed to have certain foods. She agreed with Logan when he said that Daddy was mean.
Mia: "Meaner than an 8-armed octopus!" (They are apparently meaner than their 4-armed counterparts, which she insisted exist.)

After noticing that Brett had left his lunch on the counter, I called to ask him if he would like me to stick it in the 'fridge. Mia was a bit concerned by this.
Mia: "He's gonna have to get hot lunch!"

At the park:
Logan: "Look what I found resting!"
I glanced up from my book and saw that he had laid a dead chipmunk in front of me on the picnic table. You may be impressed to know that I only gave a slightly startled "ah!" in response before informing him that it was dead, finding a plastic bag in the van to scoop it up with, putting it in the trash can, and then peeling off his mittens. (Thank goodness he was wearing them!)

The weather was suddenly warmer and the ladybugs had come out from wherever they had been hiding.
Mia: "I don't want that ladybug, Mom. I think it just peed on me!"

Logan (to the babysitter as he handed her the money): "You can buy stuff with that!" (Yep.)

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