Tuesday, April 30, 2013

How Do They Come up with This Stuff?

I haven't posted any quotes for a few months. Don't worry, though, because I've been saving the most memorable ones for when I finally get around to typing them. That would be now. Looking back on these quotes make me laugh, and I really have to wonder how they come up with this stuff?

1/23/13 - A New Simile
Mia (while getting into the van to go to school): "I feel like a cold egg that's been in the refrigerator."

1/23/13 - The Blame Game
Me: "Ew! Somebody's been wiping boogers on the wall."
Logan: "It was Mama!"
Yes, obviously, I was trying to deflect my guilt here.

2/1/13 - A Matter of Taste
Logan (at dinner): "Those butterfly noodles are sooooo good!"

2/12/13 - On Giving Credit Where Credit is Due
Logan (while banging on door): "Open, door! Open, door!" Once I unlocked it, he cheered, "Key did it! Key did it!"

2/13/13 - Cause and Effect
Mia: "Mommy look at his purple lips."
Logan: "But me want red lips."
Me (looking, noting evidence -- lips actually appear blue, not purple): "Then don't eat blue crayons."
Logan: "Oh."

2/16/13 - Why Ask Why...
Logan (at dinner): "Ow! Me eye hurts!"
Brett: "Why does your eye hurt?"
Logan: "Because me put soup juice in it."
Brett: "Well, why'd you do that?"
Logan: "Because me do'ed."
(Especially when you always get the same answer)

2/21/13 - Got Milk?
Logan (while cuddling): "I want milk from your body."
Me: "Why do you want milk from my body?"
Logan: "Because I'm not feeling well."
Me: "Well, I don't have milk anymore. You haven't nursed in awhile and I stopped making it."
He thought about this for a bit. Then, he put his hands on my breasts and informed me, "You need to drink milk so you can make more milk."

3/2/13 - I Get Schooled by My Kindergartner
Me: "Your caterpillar is doing fine."
Mia: "It's not mine. It's a wild creature that lives outside and just needs a warm place for the winter.

3/2/13 - Nice Try, Mom!
Mia shows me her newly redecorated dollhouse.
Me: "Great! Maybe now you can clean your room since you're in a redecorating, rearranging, and cleaning mode."
Mia: "I'm not in a cleaning mode!"

3/4/13 - The Great Negotiator
Logan: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Me: "What are you thinking?"
Logan: "That we should watch another show!"

3/24/13 - Things Can Always be Worse!
Mia (in bath tub): "Mom, guess what?!"
Me (looking up from my book): "What?"
Mia: "I scrubbed my teeth!"
Me: "After you scrubbed your tushie?"
Mia: "NO! After I scrubbed my feet."

4/8/13 - The Power of Observation
Logan: "Do pants have to change color?"
Me (confused): "No, pants don't have to change color."
Logan: "This one does." {points to faded knee of blue jeans}

4/13/13 - So True
Logan (at dinner): "My food is gonna have my germs on it."

4/13/13 - Rodent Meteorology is Unreliable at Best
We have a groundhog who lives under our shed. I call him "Chuck." The kids get excited when they see him. Okay, I get kind of excited, too. He seems harmless enough, and it's like having a "pet" minus the work. I'm sure Mia would be mad at me if I dared to call him our "pet."
Mia: "Why is the groundhog out in the sun?"
Me: "Why shouldn't he be?"
Mia: "Oh, I forgot! They can't really predict the weather."

4/25/13 - Family Dynamics
Brett (to Logan, who wants to wear Brett's ball cap): "Do you want me to adjust the hat down?"
Logan: "Yeah!"
Brett (to me): "How come my hats aren't that big on his head?"
Mia: "Because he has a big, fat head!"
Logan: "Well, you have a big, fat head, too!"
The amazing thing about this exchange is that no feelings, or bodies, were hurt!

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