Wish you were here!
One joy of being pregnant was that I could always blame any flub-ups and forgetfulness on "pregnancy brain," as I called it. My friend, Kim, refers to this as "Childzheimer's." Now I know why she calls it that. With Mia's pregnancy, I was convinced that once she was born, I would regain my mental clarity. (I quickly realized that wouldn't happen as long as I was sleep deprived.) With Logan's pregnancy, I was a bit more realistic in my expectations. However, I continued to believe that this was a temporary condition, and at some stage of parenting, it would disappear. Now that I'm getting a decent night's sleep on a regular basis, I find that this muddle-headedness has not vanished, but rather it has increased. I swear that as my kids get older (and smarter), I continually lose mental capacity. My best theory of why this happens is that the kids are actually little zombies, and they are eating my brain cell by cell. I even found this article which supports my idea. (And then, after writing this, I realized it sounded familiar. Then it occurred to me that I had stolen the zombie terminology from another blog I read. Apologies to imanimama.)
This week has been especially full of these mommy moments. One day I totally forgot that I needed to wash diapers. Another day, I forgot about a playdate that had been on the calendar for weeks. (And I joke all the time that nothing gets done unless it gets written down on my master "Mom" calendar.) Plus, once I was called and reminded about the playdate, I couldn't figure out where I had written down the address, which wasted several minutes and frustrated me further.
Yesterday was the worst, though, because I was trying to make pizza dough and couldn't figure out why the food processor wasn't working. I had used it with no problems before. Turns out, the bowl part (okay, right now I can't think of the correct term, so I am just going to go with "bowl") just wasn't screwed on tightly. Once I realized that, I thought things would be fine. Then, I couldn't get the dough out. So, without really thinking (duh!), I reached in and tried to pull it out with my hands, forgetting that the blade was still in place. Ouch! The only thing I can say about this (other than it is the dumbest thing I have done in awhile), is that I am actually proud of myself for my quick reaction time. (Read: I didn't get any blood in our dinner. And believe me after all that, I was still serving that awesome pizza on the grill!) Of course, after managing to get the rest of the dough out, I discovered why it had been tricky-- I forgot to add the olive oil.
So, last night, I took myself out for some much needed "me time." This happened to come in the form of retail therapy at my new favorite haunt, Salvation Army. I found some great bargains, including a few pieces of clothing that actually fit me!! And the best part of the evening, and quite possibly the whole week, was the drive home. I heard Steven Curtis Chapman's latest song, "Do Everything," on the radio and it really spoke to me, reminding me that even though I feel like a major screw-up lately, I'm doing the best I can. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be Super Mom, and then feel like a failure when I enevitably fall short of that goal. This is just what I needed to hear last night:
You’re picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We’ll let me remind you it all matters just as long as youDo everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do
Thank you, Lord, for reminding me what really matters most.