Party Like It's MCMXCIX!

We're kind of dorks. (That might not be a news flash, but I thought I would state it up front, in case you didn't read this.) That's why I was pretty geeked (pun intended) to find these "Roman Candles" a few months back at Marshall's for $3.99. I tucked them away, feeling they would be perfect for my math nerd husband's birthday cake.

For his birthday, he requested this Toffee Cake, and I agreed to make it, because it was his birthday, and also, because he's pretty awesome. When he was looking for cake recipes, he decided to skip bookmarking any that called for a stand mixer since we didn't have one at the time, and he selected this particular recipe that called for a boxed Devil's Food Cake mix. Then, in a somewhat ironic turn of events, I finally got my stand mixer!! (See, I told you he was pretty awesome.) Brett's birthday cake was its inaugural usage, and I have to say that this was such a joy to use with a boring old boxed cake mix, I can hardly wait to make something from scratch. (You know, when I have more time... like when I'm not busy preparing for our tropical vacation sans children. Eeeeeeeee!)

Even though I linked the recipe from cooks.com, I'm going to take the time to type it out here. Why? Well, I lost one recipe (that I know of) for some white chocolate strawberry muffins that I posted here and I have forever been looking for a substitute since then, and falling hopelessly short. So, in the event that I really want this recipe again, (and I am sure I will!) I will have a fail-safe. Smart, huh?

• 1 box Devil's Food Cake mix
• 1/2 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk (I used a bit extra.)
• 6 oz. caramel ice cream topping (Again, I used extra.)
• 3 bars chocolate covered toffee, chopped
• 8 oz. Cool Whip

1. Bake cake according to package directions in a 9" x 13" pan. (To make the cake look a bit more elegant, I decided to make it a layer cake instead of baking it in a 9" x 13" cake pan.) Cool on wire rack for 5 minutes. Make slits across the top of the cake, making sure not to go through to the bottom.
2. In a sauce pan over low heat, combine sweetened condensed milk and caramel topping, stirring until smooth and blended. Slowly pour over warm cake, letting it sink into slits; then sprinkle with the crushed candy bars. (I skipped doing this in between my two layers, but I did add extra caramel sauce.)
3. Let the cake cool completely, then top with Cool Whip. Decorate the top of the cake with more toffee bar chunks and swirls of caramel topping. Refrigerate.

For display, it was placed on a new-to-me glass cake stand that I had picked up at a rummage sale for $1 the very morning that I was planning to make the cake. Serendipitous, indeed! I was a bit harried, though, since it was the last day of school for Mia, and I didn't end up trimming the two rounds to make them even and flat. It turned out not to be a big deal, though, because the Cool Whip made excellent, easy-to-work-with frosting. I had never used a tub of Cool Whip for frosting before, but I expect to use it again because it was very simple to apply with my angled spatula and it covered up a multitude of baking sins (like those uneven layers I mentioned.) I was thankful to have reserved a small amount of Cool Whip to do touch-ups, as we were traveling to Brett's brother's house to celebrate, and it got a just a tiny bit messy looking on the way there. (My strange method that I came up with for transporting the cake worked very well: I stuck the cake stand into a large pot so that the stand rested just on the outer edges. This was I was able to hold it in place and rest my hands on the handles of the pot during the drive, and remain reasonably comfortable while doing so.)

In addition to looking pretty, this cake was very moist, too, thanks to the caramel sauce that was drizzled into slits cut into both of the layers. I topped it all off with the extra caramel sauce and some smashed up Heath bars, Brett's favorite candy bar. (By the way, pummeling candy bars with a rubber mallet is very cathartic. Just make sure they are sealed in a baggie and then wrapped in a towel, and you're good to go.) On another side note, the left over condensed milk was very happily used for condensed milk paintings, which Mia had been asking me to do again, so that was a happy coincidence, and it meant no waste (because obviously, we will eat the remaining caramel topping soon...). Everyone agreed that the cake was delicious, but the Roman numeral candles were truly the Pièce de résistance!

{All you need to know is that I am younger!}

On Getting My Way (without Even Trying Too Hard!)

Today, as I was going to make cookies, I discovered, sadly, that the hand mixer had bitten the dust. Rats! I unplugged it, took out the beaters, put them back in, and tried again. It still didn't work. So, I tried the other side of the outlet, and when that didn't work, I switched to another outlet. Yep, it was completely dead. This was pretty frustrating, however, I did learn that it is possible to cream sugar and butter together by hand. Note, I don't recommend this; it's quite time-consuming and my arm was pretty tired by the time I had completed the cookie dough, stirring in my cocoa powder/flour/salt/baking soda mixture, and then adding the peanut butter baking bits. Honestly, I would have given up on this had I not already poured sugar into the mixing bowl. That meant that the butter couldn't be salvaged for another use, and I was committed to the task at hand.

Somewhere in the midst of this challenge, I started sending text messages with Brett, leading to a whole silly conversation (which I have taken the liberty of editing so that you don't have to deal with all of our spelling and grammatical errors).

Me: (12:31 pm) "I was getting ready to make cookies but hand mixer will not work."
Brett: (12:32 pm) "Is the outlet working?"
Me: (12:33 pm){Wondering if he thinks I'm dumb...} "Tried different outlet. :("
Brett: (12:49 pm) "Guess we'll have to get stand up mixer."
Me: (12:50 pm) {Trying to play it cool, but WHAT?! Is he serious? I've only wanted one since forever!} "I guess so!"
Brett: (12:52 pm) "Don't sound so excited."
Me: (12:52 pm) "Hey, I'm doin' it by hand here, so give me some credit."
Me: (2:17 pm) {It's been a while since I heard from him, so I figure I'd better test the waters to see how serious he is...} "I will need something in the next couple days in order to make your birthday cake!"
Brett: (2:19 pm) "How convenient. I better not come home and find dent marks on the hand mixer from where you 'accidentally' dropped it."
Me: (2:20 pm) "Don't worry... I will cover my tracks."
Brett: (2:21 pm) "Good. Feel free to blame the dog, too."
Me: (2:24 pm) "Actually, I was thinking of those kids who supposedly will get a puppy if that get so many 'likes' on FB. I could try it for 'my hubby needs to buy me a stand mixer!'"
Brett: (2:30 pm) "Kohl's has Kohl's Cash available right now. Buy mixer. Get sheets?"
(We actually just discovered that our sheets have holes in them, so sad, but I guess that is inevitable after almost 12 years of marriage.)
Me: (2:45 pm) "Now you're being sensible. :)"
Brett: (3:01 pm) "When wasn't I being sensible?"

Around 5:00, he called me to say he is at Kohl's and he asked what color stand mixer I wanted. Pretty awesome, but all I could think was, I've got to be at a meeting at church soon! So, I told him, I can't decide without seeing them, and anyway, I need you home NOW! I was pretty surprised by how serious he was about going through with my stand mixer pipe-dream... but I just didn't have the time for it right then. He surprised me further by coming home with $400 worth of Kohl's gift cards that he had bought at Kroger, explaining that they were currently doing extra fuel points with gift card purchases. This is cool and all, but seriously Who are you, and what have you done with my husband? I gave him a kiss (I think!), collected the gift cards, and scooted out the door, all the while wondering, What in the world is going on?

After my meeting was finished at church, I resumed our text messaging.
Me: (7:55 pm) "Done at church. Going to Kohl's."
Brett: (7:57 pm) "Feel free to buy something pretty for yourself."
{Um, yeah... I'm getting a stand mixer! What's going on here, anyway? This is when I came up with assorted scenarios that would explain this uncharacteristic behavior, mainly the okaying of spending money, money, money. Seriously now, Who are you and what have you done with my husband?!}

I tried on the following ideas:

a) Someone has stolen my husband's phone and he/she is having fun messing with my head? {Not likely.}
b) He's being held at gunpoint, and this is his way of sending me a hidden Help! message? {Even less likely.}
c) He has some sort of brain tumor that is applying pressure just so... as to alter his personality? {Gosh, I sure hope not!}
d) He's having a affair, and this is his way of compensating for his guilt? {Highly improbable!}
e) He's feeling super geeked about our upcoming vacation sans children, (To a tropical island! Eeeeeeee!) and is, therefore, feeling generous? {Yes! This MUST be the answer! It's the only thing that makes sense.}

While this interesting turn of events initially threw me a curve ball, I ended up deciding that it doesn't matter why he was giving me the green light. The only thing that mattered was that I was getting my stand mixer! Decision time led to more conversation.

Me: (8:15 pm) "Looks like the least expensive model is only in white."
Brett: (8:17 pm) "My original thought was the $350 model."
Me: (8:18 pm) {That explains the $400 in gift cards. Also, score!} "It is nicer. Do you like cobalt blue or the silver color which looks like our major appliances?
Brett: (8:20 pm) "I see that you're easy to convince. I figured silver to match, but it's your choice."
Me: (8:21 pm) {I am drawn to the blue, but the silver seems more practical.} "It probably has staying power. Plus, it will go with any decor from current to whatever... I will get the chrome then."

And, I almost did pick it up right then to head to the check-out, but I remembered his suggestion to "buy something pretty" for myself and I decided that I should probably ride that train as far as I could. So, naturally, I started in the shoe department. Unfortunately, the two pairs of elegant, metallic, gladiator sandals that I tried out weren't very comfy, which meant they weren't to practical for our upcoming trip. (To a tropical island! Without kids! Eeeeeeeeee!) I did, however, find a cute and comfortable pair of brown sandals that meet my criteria (nothing between the toes and not too high of a heel), and I had truly needed brown sandals, so this was a smart purchase for under $20. Then, I tried on some clothes and came away with a pretty purple sun dress, which fit me perfectly! (It was on clearance. Plus, it's usually hard to find things that are small enough for me. Obviously, it was meant to be!) I also found a fun short-sleeved cardigan in my favorite shade of green, which was also on clearance, and also in my size. Yeah! So exciting, but I knew I needed to head home before I really went overboard. I have been on a spending spree lately with preparations for the trip. (Did I mention it's to a tropical island? Eeeeeeeee!)

At the check-out, I was prepared to spend all of the gift cards and pay the difference with my credit card when the sales clerk told me about their scratch-off special for Kohl's card holders. I had never gotten the Kohl's charge card because we don't make such large purchases that it would be worth it to us. However, she let me scratch one off to see what my savings would be if I did: 15 percent. I realized that would be about $60 in savings, more than what I was spending on my "pretty things for myself," so I went ahead and got the charge card, mentally crossing my fingers that he wouldn't be mad at me. I think he was still surprised when I got home and told him what I had done, but not as surprised as I was to have been making this shopping expedition in the first place. And, how could he argue with saving that much money? I even had money left on one of the gift cards, over $40, in fact. Combine that with the $60 in Kohl's Cash, and we should be able to pick out a nice, quality sheet set to last us our next 12 years. And, if that's not enough wonderful news for one day, just think how much better my baked goods will be now, thanks to my beautiful new metallic chrome KitchenAid mixer!