May at Our House

May 1, 2014
M {both kids have doll dresses on their heads}: "We're wearing Mexican hats!"
Well, sure, if you say so, kids.

May 1, 2014
L: "I found Boo Boo Bunny -- and I got hurt!"
Oh, the irony.

May 2, 2014
M: "When birds pull worms out of the ground, they're playing tug-of-war!"
Yep, it's just like that except that it's a war game in which someone ends up dead.

May 2, 2014
M: "You're quite the baker! You should open up a bakery. You could build in on that open grassy patch."
Me: "What grassy patch?"
M: "You know. In town. Across from the gas station."
Now why didn't I think of that?"

May 3, 2014
M {sighing as she sits on Sandy, the penny pony at Meijer}: "I think I'm getting too big for this."
NOOOOOOO! I refuse to let that happen.

May 5, 2014
L {overheard while on the play phone, talking to Daddy}: "Fish latte."
Really hoping he does NOT wind up as a barista. Just sayin'.

May 5, 2014
L {bends his arm}: "These bones can bend. I think they're elastic!"
Yep.

May 5, 2014 
L: "Daddy, are you reading with your eyes?"
Brett: "Yes, I'm reading with my eyes."
M: "Reading with your eyes is eyes is so that little kids don't read stuff they're not supposed to know about. I read my whole entire library book on the bus!"
They've broken our secret code. Now what?

May 6, 2014
L {describing "outside day" at preschool -- the trike course}: "They gave out pink tickets."
Me: "What were the pink tickets for?"
L: "When people went too fast. I pretended it was a race course!"
Me: "Oh, so did you get lots of pink tickets."
L: "No. Nobody saw me!"
Ah, yes, how early they figure this one out.

May 7, 2014
L {on Brett's new car}: "Daddy says I can fit in his trunk!"
He said what now?

May 8, 2014
M {while we were driving on the freeway}: "I don't think we're allowed to go 160."
Brett: "I don't think the van will even go 160."
M: "Then why do the numbers go that high?!"
Indeed.

May 9, 2014
L {while watching 101 Dalmatians}: "They think they're Labra-dogs."
He's cute, right? It's not just me.

May 9, 2014
M: "I think that plane is going to crash into the moon."
I wouldn't worry too much about that, dear.

May 9, 2014
M {in the bathroom at Wendy's}: "I love that Grandma is named after a restaurant!"
Well, they do both have red hair...

May 9, 2014
M {8:30 p.m., on the way to Grandma and Grandpa's house}: "Something tells me it's past bedtime."
Me: "Yes, what is that?"
M: "The clock! And the angle of the sun."
Okay, Miss Smartypants...

May 12, 2014
Me: "Why are you going in circles?" {around the dining room table}
L: "I just want to. Actually, I'm going in ovals."
And Mr. Smartypants!

May 14, 2014
Me: "Did you just lick me?! Why are you licking everything?" {as he licks the counter}
L: "Because I want a sucker."
Right. And licking the inside of my wrist will make that happen how exactly?

May 19, 2014
L {brings me a twig}: "Mom, is this a pretzel plant?"
Nope. But wouldn't that be kind of cool?

May 20, 2014
L: "I wish we had a pet butterfly instead of a dog."
There would be less dog doo on my porch...

May 20, 2014
M: "I don't like that my skin is covered with hair."
Sorry. Can't help you there.

May 24, 2014
L {watching lacrosse on TV}: "Are they trying to catch a banana peel?"
This is just plain funny.

May 25, 2014
L {after I returned from the store with goodies for Memorial Day}: "You brought home root beard!"
Yes. For root beard floats. They're delicious.

May 26, 2014
L: "Some of the Unifix cubes have fallen into my milk."
Probably the best part is that he said this so matter-of-factly, like a little man.